The Eye Of The Spy
by Ys
Summary: [WIP] Snippets of everyday life, in chronological order. Bucky is feeling way better... or is he? Mentions of killing, torture and abuse. Third in the "Building a New Life" series.
1. Kate

**Disclaimer** : never did and never will own it. Marvel does.  
 **Spoilers** : canon until Captain America: Civil War (and the post-credit scenes of Black Panther).  
 **Timeline** : supposedly happens between Avengers Infinity War and Avengers 4.

* * *

 _AN: In this universe,_ Avengers: Infinity War _didn't happen. At least, not like in the movie. So there are no spoilers for it, except for things so minor that you won't notice them unless you've seen the movie. What happened between The Problem With That Camera and First Test is that Thanos indeed came, but didn't get the Infinity Stones on Earth and as he hasn't found the Soul Stone yet, decided to find it first and then come for the others, since he knows where they are. So he left back for space and the Avengers are waiting for him to come back. Also, Tony and Steve are more or less reconciled._

 _Because there are some things that irk me. For years, Thanos sent minions to get the Stones in his stance to no avail. When he decides to do it himself, he manages to do so in record time. And also, to get the Time Stone in the Tesseract, he gives the Mind Stone to Loki. Er… what?_

 _So, Thanos is still a threat in this universe, first of all because I conceived it before_ Avengers: Infinity War _came out._

* * *

"Bucky, how come you didn't ask any girl to dance since you're back?"

Bucky looked at Steve as if he had grown a second head. "Sure. I mean, which girl won't be thrilled to have either her hand crushed by a metallic one or her waist wrapped in a bionic arm?"

Summer snickered.

"Not to mention that I can't say my name without having everyone run away in horror of the infamous Winter Soldier, thanks to that time authorities deem it fun to divulge my name on the international news."

"Your name has been rehabilitated since."

"Was it? I distinctly remember Secretary Ross trying to get me to jail even after the Thanos's incident."

Steve opened his mouth, but Bucky didn't give him the time to protest. "I fought with you, Steve. People who matter know which side I'm on. The others... I don't care."

"Yes, you do and you won't find a girl among the ranks of 'people who matter'."

"Which world have I fallen into? _Steve_ is trying to find me a girl? Okay, that's it, I've really turned into your old you. Besides, did _you_ ask anyone to dance yet?"

"Yes, I did ask Peggy."

"Uh-uh. She said 'once it's all over'. It was over when you were in the ice, so maybe you asked her, but you didn't _go_ to dance."

"That's not what you asked." Steve was the personification of innocence.

Bucky glared at him before smiling suddenly. "Peggy? You haven't asked anyone since Peggy? And you dare berating me?"

"You loved to dance, pal."

"Yes, I did, but that guy fell from a train a long time ago and the one who came out of cryo mastered another kind of dance, a lot deadlier."

Steve chose not to answer that, which was too close to something he had once said to Tony for comfort.

"I still don't know how to dance," he said instead.

"Yeah, well, considering how people danced last time I checked, you just need to move very slowly next to your partner. Even you should manage it."

"I'll teach you, if you want," Summer offered. "I won't get the wrong idea and it'll be okay if you step on my feet sometimes."

Steve stared at her. She sighed. "Ah, still haven't forgiven me for being a Russian spy? I'm Dora Milaje, now. It is a genuine offer, not a trick to kill you discreetly."

"I know. I was just surprised. You know how to dance?"

"I was not frozen for the last seventy years and I have a life. Well, I had one, strange as it may seem. Anyway, as spies, we're supposed to be able to mingle easily and you can't if you don't know how to dance. Besides, it is fun. Now, if you're embarrassed to ask someone called Summer to the spring dance, I can understand."

Steve laughed.

"Any thought about changing your name?" Bucky asked.

She shrugged carelessly. "You can still call me Svetlana or Sveti if you prefer, but I think you would rather not. Now, if there's a girl's name you like, I'll choose it, no problem."

Bucky looked baffled. Steve inwardly smiled. Summer continued to be all over Bucky and it was amusing to see the man he remembered as being at ease with girls be totally at a loss as soon as she was concerned. On the other hand, he knew why his friend was surprised. Bucky didn't think he was deserving any positive attention.

"And what about your real name?" Steve asked. "Is it really Svetlana?"

"Ah... No. It's Ekaterina."

"Katya," Bucky murmured, before saying suddenly, "You could call yourself Rose."

"You like that name?"

"Not particularly. But you know, 'a rose by any other name would smell as sweet'."

"You're quoting Shakespeare to me?"

"That's not what Shakespeare wrote. He wrote 'What's in a name? That which we call a rose / By any other word would smell as sweet'."

"Still, you're quoting Shakespeare to me? And _Romeo and Juliet_ to boot!"

She looked at him seriously.

"I'd go dancing with you if you asked me."

Bucky's eyes turned horrified; he looked down at his hands before turning away and leaving without a word.

"What did I say?" Summer asked, nonplussed.

Steve sighed. "Killing hands," he said as if it explained everything.

He watched as Shuri collided with Bucky like a bullet; he caught her with his right arm – which incidentally prevented her to fall – but Steve was probably the only one to see the left hand close into a fist and move in the direction of Shuri's head before Bucky caught himself and relaxed his arm. Shuri laughed, freed herself from his embrace, shoved him away playfully and left for her original destination. As if feeling Steve's gaze on him, Bucky turned around and looked at him, challenging him with his eyes. Steve ignored him in favour of Summer.

"I'd gladly invite you to dance, Kate," he said, "if you still mean it that you would teach me."


	2. Loyalty

**Disclaimer** : never did and never will own it. Marvel does.  
 **Spoilers** : canon until Captain America: Civil War (and the post-credit scenes of Black Panther).  
 **Timeline** : supposedly happens between Avengers Infinity War and Avengers 4.

* * *

"How can you be so sure of her loyalty? She killed our people!"

"Of course, she did! She didn't do anything wrong, so there was no reason for her to submit to that punishment. It was stupid to send them."

"Defectors fight for their life too."

A growl. "She is _not_ a traitor! She received orders to continue her mission, so she did what she had to do for that."

"How can you be so sure?" Again.

"You forget the promise made to them if they succeed."

"She already went through the procedure!"

"I told her I could reverse it."

"If she believed you, that it was possible, she may ask them for their help."

A laugh. "It is _my_ procedure. I invented it, the chemicals, the way to proceed, a great improvement on the surgery you used before, when you killed half of them before mastering the procedure. Do you think really any of those idiots can come close to discover my formulas? No one ever did."

"And the rest that was done to her?"

"If she wants out, between the Doctor and I, we will be able to fix it. But she's a soldier, she knows there are some hardships to gain what one wants. She has a goal and wants it more than anything. I saw to it. Reversing the procedure should reward her enough."

"The Doctor? You would call upon him?"

"He would convince her none of that truly happened. That it was only a nightmare. Better than those archaic methods you used on _him_."

"It worked." It was said sullenly.

"For a while. Now, we have better."


	3. She Doesn't Come Near Me

**Disclaimer** : never did and never will own it. Marvel does.  
 **Spoilers** : canon until Captain America: Civil War (and the post-credit scenes of Black Panther).  
 **Timeline** : supposedly happens between Avengers Infinity War and Avengers 4.

* * *

The second time Shuri crashed into Bucky, he went to see T'Challa, who looked quite glad to see him. Bucky made a mental note to come more often, though it would not help the young King in the long term, since the work still would have to be done.

"T'Challa, remind me, Shuri didn't eat any of the heart-shaped herb, did she? She's as normal as can be, if we except her genius?"

T'Challa looked at him curiously.

"Totally, White Wolf."

Bucky took a deep breath. "Then either she walks around covered in Vibranium or she doesn't come near me."

T'Challa smiled. He was beginning to see where all of this was leading.

"I'm afraid she won't stay away from you. You've become her favourite broken white guy, maybe even without the broken part."

Bucky gave him an incredulous stare.

"It's not safe!"

T'Challa laughed. "Safety had never been one of Shuri's main interests, except for others. I'm afraid she finds you far more interesting than some boring thing like safety."

"T'Challa..."

The young King stood up and clasped his shoulder. "See it under a good light. I trust you with my sister's safety. Let's even say I trust you with my sister and that's final."

Bucky couldn't shake the impression that T'Challa knew much more than he was saying. Maybe the young King trusted him with Shuri's safety – what did he exactly mean with his second formulation? – but _he_ didn't trust himself with it. He tried another angle.

"What about M'Baku?"

T'Challa looked genuinely confused. "M'Baku?" he repeated.

"When Killmonger had the throne, M'Baku was offered the heart-shaped herb, to replace you as King. He saved your life, because he owed you, but still. He kept your mother safe. He came to your help against the tribes loyal to Killmonger."

He was floundering, but T'Challa patiently waited for him to finish.

"The Jibari tribe had grown apart from the rest of the tribes, but with those events, they slowly started to come back. He won his seat at the Tribal Council. I know you go to their mountains regularly. So, it would be... logical to think that you would consider securing his loyalty by a marriage."

"You're trying to meddle in Wakandan politics now?" T'Challa teased him gently. "M'Baku considers Shuri as a child who respects nothing. He would have to change his opinion quite radically for agreeing to what you suggest." Before Bucky could add another argument, he asked, "Want to have a run?"

"To M'Baku's?"

"To the mountains, yes. But it is too early for you to go see M'Baku."

Bucky shrugged. "Could be fun."

When they came out of T'Challa's office, both Okoye and Summer stood at guard. Bucky swallowed a sigh. T'Challa shook his head; Okoye nodded and stepped back.

"We're going running, Summer. Your assignment is over there." Bucky took the young spy by the shoulders and turned her around until she faced Mount Bashenga. She understood at once.


	4. Running Into Bucky

**Disclaimer** : never did and never will own it. Marvel does.  
 **Spoilers** : canon until Captain America: Civil War (and the post-credit scenes of Black Panther).  
 **Timeline** : supposedly happens between Avengers Infinity War and Avengers 4.

* * *

It didn't take long for Bucky to notice that Shuri was running into him on purpose. Regularly, she burst from nowhere at high speed, always ending up bumping into him. He caught her up each time without a fault. Also, each time, he had to restraint himself from hitting her, though lately, as he was twice on his guards for her to do exactly that, he didn't react as badly.

He knew she was not as oblivious as she made herself look like.

"I asked T'Challa to tell you to stay away from me," he said tightly, his left hand thrust deep in his pocket.

"Won't do, Wolfie," she replied airily.

"Shuri," he growled, as they had both stopped with titles long ago.

"Bucky," she said on the same tone.

"I like you."

She mimicked surprise. "Whoa, you like little me? I'm flattered, really–"

"Stop it. Please. I don't want to hurt you."

His voice was soft, almost begging. She turned serious suddenly.

"So you'll hurt in my stand? Wolfie, I mean, Bucky, what I want you to realise is that _you won't hurt me_. Not now, not ever. You're free from HYDRA." She raised her hand so he would let her continue. "You're free from them because they will never be able to steal your will from you ever again. I understand that you are still not free from what they did to you and made you do. You aren't free from what you are. But you are getting better. You will never be the one you were before HYDRA, you know that as well as I do, but soon, you'll be able to lead a normal life. Until then, I don't want you to be alone and on edge because you fear you'll do something wrong."

"And what if I do? What if something surprises me so much that my reflexes snap in place and I hit someone before I realise they are not enemy? What if I hit _you_?"

"Then I am an idiot who will regret it very dearly the minute it happens," she said dryly. "Everybody here knows who you were, how you are wired to react. They know how to come to you, not to surprise you. Sometimes, because they're happy for you or because they want to comfort you, they forget and come rashly at you, to hug you generally." Bucky knew she was referring to Steve, who didn't seem willing to understand that hugging him was not as easy as it was before. "But most of the time, they care. In my case, I'm done coddling you."

He bristled at the word 'coddling'. She smiled knowingly.

"You can't live surrounded by people who tread gingerly around you. You'll meet people who will bump into you and not care, who will clap your shoulder before saying something. You lived alone in Bucharest, yet you didn't hurt anyone. People must have crowded you sometimes, no?"

He had a wry smile. "Do you know how much weight I lost during that time because of stress?"

She dismissed it. "You were not eating properly. I will run into you until you understand that you are not a threat to me. This is a calculated risk from my part because I _know_ I have nothing to fear."

He was not as convinced of it as she was, but she didn't mind. She would convince him, in time.


	5. Got All Weepy

**Disclaimer** : never did and never will own it. Marvel does.  
 **Spoilers** : canon until Captain America: Civil War (and the post-credit scenes of Black Panther).  
 **Timeline** : supposedly happens between Avengers Infinity War and Avengers 4.

* * *

"Bucky, may I ask you a question?"

"You usually don't bother asking."

"It's about... before."

"Oh. Well, go on."

"In Lagos, just before Rumlow, er, died, he told me about you."

Bucky tensed. "Rumlow?"

Steve took his phone and after a moment, showed him the picture of Brock Rumlow.

Bucky nodded but remained silent, waiting for Steve to continue. "He said you remembered me, 'got all weepy' about it and then they punished you by wiping your mind again."

Bucky's face darkened a bit. "Pretty sure he didn't speak of punishment, the jerk. I'll get him for the 'all weepy' part. I'd like to see how he would have reacted in my stance."

"Uh, between Sam and Wanda, they took care of him."

"True, they did." He looked thoughtful for a moment until he took in Steve's nervousness. "Steve," he said gently, "you must not think of it as 'punishment'. Up until they broke me, yes, it was punishment. Afterwards, they... took care of me, as much as you care for a prized tool. Wiping my mind was not a punishment to their eyes, not even really to mine. It was part of the procedure to keep me stable. It's been a long time since I put up a fight when they told me they would wipe me, though it hurt like hell."

"So... It was my fault?"

"Not really. They... encouraged me not remembering. On the bridge, when you called me, well, it made no real sense at the time, but you knew me and seemed perturbed in seeing me. So I had to know you, right? And if I knew you and we weren't on the same side, it meant that what I was doing was wrong. That's what I tried telling them, because I had forgotten so much I didn't remember they weren't the good guys. They couldn't afford for me to realise that, because they had no chance to stop you without me." Then he smiled. "But they didn't know you enough. They didn't realise that even with me, they couldn't stop you, because you would never let me down."

"But still, it was my fault."

"Yeah, you're responsible for reminding me of who I truly was," Bucky said with a sigh. "Oh, the heinous crime! I told you I didn't mind the wiping seance. Much. What I minded was Pierce slapping me." He actually growled.

"Why did he slap you?"

"I was trying to remember and he wanted his mission report. I never gave it to him, though. They used to say that pain helped me focus. I remember having wondered several times if they had used that method on themselves to be so sure of the result."

"Sam said that Rumlow told him that HYDRA was order and that order only comes through pain."

Bucky looked doubtful and shook his head. "Still, I'd have liked to kill Pierce myself."

"He died knowing he failed."

"Did he really? With HYDRA, you never know. Cut off one head, two more shall take its place."

"Like Colonel Philips said, 'Let's go find two more!' Besides, I feel like decreasing their number right now."

"Now, that's a good idea." He sighed. "I liked Rumlow. I trained with him once or twice. He didn't like the way Pierce treated me. He said I deserved better. It was kinda nice to hear something pleasant, not just 'good work'."

Steve thought back about Rumlow. It was true that while they had been both in the S.T.R.I.K.E. team, he had enjoyed working with him.

"Yeah," he said. "If he hadn't been HYDRA, he could have a good friend."

Though he didn't say anything, he thought a bit better of Rumlow for having been kind to Bucky at a time he had no friend. It didn't change anything that Rumlow was dead.


	6. Rumlow

**Disclaimer** : never did and never will own it. Marvel does.  
 **Spoilers** : canon until Captain America: Civil War (and the post-credit scenes of Black Panther).  
 **Timeline** : supposedly happens between Avengers Infinity War and Avengers 4.

* * *

Bucky spent some time looking for Brock Rumlow from his work computer, feeling a bit guilty though he knew it was stupid. Nobody would tell him anything for taking time to recover some memories. Still, it was _personal_. He winced when seeing pictures of his burned face. He was a bit sad to notice that the man he had quite liked seemed to have no redeeming quality. The man had been HYDRA through and through, even if, after his first official death, he had revenged himself on them. By modelling him to their beliefs, even though he had rejected them, they had helped him become Crossbones.

Natasha was in Wakanda, as well as Sam, and he took advantage of a time where Sam and Steve were spending time together for approaching her.

"Hey, Romanoff."

"You know you can call me Natasha, like everybody else?"

"And you will call me Bucky?" he replied a bit sourly.

She smiled a bit suggestively and he remembered it from _before_. But the name had not been Natasha. The memory made him feel ill at ease, awaking other memories, much less pleasant. He focused on the task at hand. "Do you know... I mean, did you know Brock Rumlow?"

"Yeah. He was in the S.T.R.I.K.E. team with Cap and me."

"Mind telling me about him?"

What he liked about Natasha was that she didn't ask useless questions. She nodded and started telling him stories of S.T.R.I.K.E. missions. He enjoyed her retelling of the ZODIAC mission and duly noted when she mentioned that Rumlow had saved Steve. She also told him things that Steve and Sam had told her, like the attack in the elevator or the fight in the Triskelion, and his actions when they had understood he was HYDRA and not S.H.I.E.L.D. Bucky nodded once or twice, as if some actions made sense to him.

It made sense to him also that his nightmare that night was about Rumlow.

 _He came back from trying to kill his target in broad daylight. That said target had managed to escape had not stood well with Pierce, for all the man claimed he was the man's friend. It was one of the rare times the Winter Soldier had not accomplished his mission. But Pierce had not lost time in punishing his Asset. He still needed him, so he gave him another mission... which pointed at the same target. This time, he was sure the black one-eyed man was dead – or soon would be – but he was surprised the other man managed to catch up with him. He was almost amused to see that_ he _surprised that man by being able to catch his shield. He came back to his base, reporting that his mission was a success. Pierce only told him "Good work", like Karpov did. He didn't even show emotion at the death of his friend. Maybe they were alike, Pierce and the Soldier, no emotions, so no friends. He wasn't even sure of the meaning of the word. Trying to remember its meaning hurt his head, so he went to sleep on the narrow bed with only one cover. Comfort was like friend, just a word, foreign to him. He was a weapon. Weapons did not need comfort._

 _Waking up in the morning, he went to the training room, his guards following him dutifully. He was not to be alone at all times – even though the guards stayed out of his room at night, but then, the room had only one exit – he was too precious and could not be taken by the enemy. That was what Pierce and his keepers said. But he had one memory... of other soldiers, like him, maybe less strong, but almost as skilful and less recognisable since they didn't have his metal arm, and they had attacked the scientists, the guards,_ Karpov _. Yes, it had been when Karpov was supervising him. The other soldiers had been a danger and he had considered another utility for the guards: keeping him in check in case_ he _became a danger for them._

 _He started training on his own, as usual. Training didn't need him to think, it came naturally. He felt that he would be needed again. That man of the previous night, if he had been able to catch up with him, well, he would not be easy to bring down, even though Pierce seemed to think otherwise. Sooner or later, the Soldier was sure of it, he would be pitted against this man. A worthy opponent. It would change from those pitiful puppets he usually had to deal with. Then his handler entered the room._

" _Soldier," Rumlow greeted him._

 _He didn't answer, just stared at him. That was what he was supposed to do when there were other people around them._

" _Do you want to train with me?" he offered. "I know it can be lonely to train on one's own."_

 _The Soldier titled his head on the side. Lonely? He didn't know anything else. Still he nodded his assent and, as usual, he didn't regret it. Rumlow was good, tough and obviously believed HYDRA's mantra that nothing would be achieved without pain. The guards were tense. He wondered if they expected him to kill his handler. He didn't remember having killed a handler before, but then, he didn't remember much. Maybe he had, because it seemed there was a new one each time he opened his eyes. At the end of the bout, there was that light of respect in Rumlow's eyes._

" _It's been an honour, Soldier," he said._

 _Then, there were flashbacks, like that time, after they mind-wiped him because he had failed to stop Captain America and his team – though he had succeeded in his prime mission, which was to silence Jasper Sitwell. Rumlow clasping him on the shoulder after another bout, telling him, "The boss should not treat you like that. You deserve better. Was the mind-wiping truly necessary?"_

 _At that time, he had not remembered about the mind-wiping, so he had been a bit at a loss. He surprised himself by replying, "It's part of the procedure." He was not supposed to speak unless to report on his missions or to give orders to the underlings during the missions, even though this particular handler liked to break the established rules. But he had appreciated his sympathy._

 _Until now, everything had been true. But the burnt face of Rumlow, in the middle of the falling Triskelion was not from his memories, since at that time he had been fighting Steve on the helicarrier._

" _You failed me!" Rumlow shouted, his face on fire, burning eyes staring into his. "If you had stopped them earlier, nothing of this would have happened! How hard was it to stop two people? I did nothing to you, why did you let me down?"_

 _The Soldier wanted to protest, but the words caught in his throat. It_ had _been his fault that Rumlow had been so terribly burnt. If he had stopped Steve, the helicarrier wouldn't have crashed into the Triskelion. Of course, one million people, HYDRA's targets, would have died instead._

 _Then, he saw Rumlow again, with the Crossbones habit but without his mask, surrounded by scarlet tendrils from Wanda's magic. Lagos. Once again, he was staring straight at the Soldier._

" _It's because of you I'm dying," he said accusingly. "Had you come back to us after the helicarriers' disaster, you would have been assigned to Baron Wolfgang von Strucker's security and the Avengers would never have put their hands on the twins! They would not have sided with them against their creator! It's your fault!"_

 _And he exploded, taking two floors of the next building with him, sending fire and blood in the Soldier's face._

Bucky sat up in his bed, rubbing his hair to drive the nightmare away. He hated those where dead people were accusing him. He even preferred those where he screamed at the end – usually because he killed Steve or thought he was being activated again. At least, they didn't stay with him long after he dreamed them. The guilt, though... He always carried it with him. He needed to speak about it with someone and Steve was not the right person, because for Steve, Bucky was never guilty. He got up and got dressed before leaving his room and wandering in the palace, hoping the other would have had a night as bad as his. He was in luck.

"Hey, Wilson. Sam. May I?"

Sam turned away from the window and looked at him.

"May you what?"

"Call you Sam. Talk to you. I have been... distant."

Sam snorted. "I know what you've been doing. You've been giving Steve and I space and time. _Lots_ of space and time." He narrowed his eyes. "Stop behaving as if you were afraid of getting back your place by him."

"Of stealing it," Bucky said. "You won your place by his side. I just was at the right place at the right moment ninety years ago."

Sam shook his head. "This thing is, I am Captain America's friend and getting to know Steve Rogers. _You_ are Steve Rogers's friend and don't care a bit for Captain America, except for keeping him safe. He needs you because you truly know him. Besides, maybe you'll be better than me at keeping him away from troubles. He gives me orders and I just follow. From what I've seen and heard, you argue with him."

Bucky snorted. "Yeah, right. I left for the war and he volunteered to be experimented on!"

"Exactly what I said. As long as you were by his side, you kept him out of troubles. Seriously, Barnes, that guy misses you like Hell."

"You're good for him," Bucky mumbled.

Sam stared at him. "So, you watch us from afar and feed your own pain? Man, don't do that. He misses you and I guess I can stand you if you don't try to kill me."

"Haven't done that in a while."

"Suits me just fine. And yes, you can call me Sam and you can talk to me, _Bucky_."

Bucky has a small smile. "You know Brock Rumlow, was I told."

"Yeah. He tried to kill me too. Talked more than you, but still less than Spidey."

Bucky told him of the memories of Rumlow he had recalled that same night and then his nightmare. He had other memories, but didn't like to dwell on them. No fault to Rumlow, but they were associated with things he had done he was not proud of.

"Man, you're so messed up! Survivor guilt wasted on one such as Rumlow?" Sam shook his head. "Steve and Nat probably had nice things to say about him, which is certainly why you didn't go to them. I have only bad things. I met that man twice and each time, it was to stop him from killing innocent people. Let me tell you about it."

He told him of his fight in the Triskelion and the threats Rumlow had made to him, about pain, and then how it had happened in Lagos. Bucky was feeling quite lost. The raving beast obsessed with vengeance that Sam was describing had nothing to do with the man he thought he knew.

"Is it my fault?" he asked a bit helplessly.

Sam pursed his lips. "If you had managed to stop Steve, Rumlow would have killed me, because I really was saved by the first helicarrier crashing into the Triskelion. Would it have helped HYDRA? Well, the one million targets would have died, but Pierce wouldn't have seen it. Between Nat and Fury, they would have taken care of him. So, in a way, because you failed to stop Steve, it was your fault that Rumlow got so badly hurt and burnt. But you didn't fail on purpose, though _some_ people wonder about three shots by the best marksman and none killed, and by failing, you saved countless innocent people. He had been nice to you but he was still ready to kill thousands of people. And I believe he was nice to you because you were useful. Had you been at your right place, by our side, he would certainly not have been."

Bucky appreciated the 'by our side', not just 'by Steve's side'.

"As for the other one, man, did you think you could have protected the Baron from the whole team? Sure, it would have been harder to capture von Strucker, but Wanda _chose_ to let the Avengers get Loki's sceptre. What would you have done? On this one, nothing you could have done could have helped Rumlow, short of killing Wanda."

Bucky recoiled at the idea of killing Wanda. Sam had a knowing smile.

"Even in that case, Rumlow would have been stopped; he was completely unhinged by his hatred of Cap. So, you did your best but couldn't save him. None of this is your fault."

Bucky relaxed a moment then shook his head. "No, I didn't do my best. I could have killed Steve."

Sam leaned forward. "When?" Was he finally going to have the answer to the question that had plagued Steve for years?

"You know it. You spoke of it earlier. The helicarrier. The three shots. He was the perfect target, unable to escape. I am a sniper, was during the war and they... HYDRA took advantage of it as much as they could. I could have shot him dead with my eyes closed. Yet... I didn't."

"Your firing arm was broken."

Bucky had a mirthless laugh. "Then what? Wasn't I able to fight Steve afterward? And get him from the river? Do you really think HYDRA cared for a broken arm? I had carried on missions with worse injuries than that, and besides, they made sure I was proficient with both arms. No such excuse as that. It would have been unthinkable for me to fail my mission for a broken arm. No. I _chose_."

He said it as if only realising it himself. Sam felt it, Bucky was on the verge of understanding, he just needed another push...

"So you chose your childhood friend over terrorists? Can't say I blame you."

"No. I chose a chance at knowledge," Bucky said slowly. "Steve had spoken to me like I was a normal person, he explained things to me, asked me to stop and he had _recognised_ me. HYDRA, my previous owners, they just talked to me to make sure of my obedience and about missions, what they were, if I had understood what I had to do and the report I had to give. Otherwise... they didn't speak to me."

Sam, for all he had thought he hated Bucky – after all, he had tried to kill him, several times, and he counted so much for Steve, yes, that was jealousy – was horrified and his heart had constricted when hearing him say 'like I was a normal person'. That was what he was, maybe not quite normal, but hey, who really was? But he was a person, not a _tool_. Bucky continued, unaware of his inner turmoil.

"So I thought, once I completed the mission and stopped him, maybe he would talk to me again and explain some more things." He shook his head. "Stupid thoughts."

"You know he would have done it," Sam said softly. "It was your heart who spoke that time, not your broken mind, and your heart knew the good guy from the bad one, knew the one who would be with you till the end."

"Till the end of the line," Bucky rectified.

"What?"

"That's what Steve told me on the helicarrier. Our promise. I'm with you till the end of the line. Had he not said it..." He shook his head again.

"Would Rumlow have been with you till the end of the line?"

Strangely, Bucky didn't answer immediately and actually considered the question. "I don't know. Probably not."

"There, you have it. To answer your original question, you may be a tiny bit guilty on the burnt part. For the rest, your mind is playing you dirty tricks." He looked around. "Now, do you think there's a way to have some coffee at this ungodly hour?"

"How about a complete breakfast? People here are now used to my odd hours and are nice enough to humour them, so they always leave enough to feed two hungry bears at night."

Sam followed him readily.

When Steve awoke and found Bucky and Sam nowhere, he feared the worse. He immediately started to look for them and relief crashed down on him when finding them in the kitchens, surrounded by the amused cooks, discussing amiably. Sam looked up and saw him.

"Hey! Come join us, we can't manage to eat all they've given us! We need at least one more hungry bear!" He then looked at Steve with a critical eye. "Or one hungry super soldier."

Steve sat, wondering about the hungry bear reference, and felt light-headed when finally noticing that his two friends were relaxed and joking together.

"We decided to make it easier for you," Bucky announced solemnly. "He said he would put up with me if I didn't try to kill him. I said I would curb my homicidal impulses if... if what, already?"

"If I watched my tongue and stopped making smart comments, jerk," Sam recited quickly before laughing.

"That's it," Bucky said, nodding. "Punk."

"Did someone spike your coffee?" Steve asked suspiciously.

Bucky's only answer was to push the coffee pot toward him with all the seriousness he could muster before collapsing in laughter – and he was ready to hurt anyone pretending it was slightly hysterical because someone else talked to him like a normal person. Nope. He was not going to let Steve know how much it relieved him, let alone Sam.


	7. Come To My Lab

**Disclaimer** : never did and never will own it. Marvel does.  
 **Spoilers** : canon until Captain America: Civil War (and the post-credit scenes of Black Panther).  
 **Timeline** : supposedly happens between Avengers Infinity War and Avengers 4.

* * *

Shuri had just come from his right, running and already laughing. He caught her even before she could reach him and resisted the urge to flip her on the ground. He wondered if he could get away with throwing her on his shoulder and going on for the rest of the day like that. He looked down at her and she was smiling.

"Come on, old man, come with me to my lab," she told him.

"You want me in your lab? Again? I knew you had a death wish."

She craned her head to look at him. "What? You didn't step into a lab since you left HYDRA?"

"You know that answer."

"And that doctor of yours? Your LeAnn?"

"You know very well that she doesn't have a lab and besides, I was only near her when she was victimised."

She tugged on his hand. "Come! There's lots of fun things in my lab. The one you went to last time was not fun at all. If you're nice, I'll even let you try the sneakers I designed for T'Challa."

"You have more than one lab?"

"Of course! My main lab is under Mount Bashenga, but I wasn't going to keep your cryostasis pod there all the time. It would not have been safe and then, it would have depressed me, considering the time I took in succeeding. Besides, at the time you arrived, my main lab had been destroyed, so you're fortunate I had another one ready to welcome you."

He still didn't move. She sighed. "Come on! I'll tinker with your arm also, if you need a real reason. I have ideas for it."

He finally moved, though he continued to object.

"You created it only months ago. It works perfectly well, better than the previous one."

"I hope so. The previous one was so old technology! But it's not because it works that it can't be improved. I could even put a weapon in it if you want."

He shivered. "No, don't. Rather a safe guard you could activate from a distance. With two intensities. Little one if I'm surrounded by friends, big one if by enemies."

She glanced at him. "By safe guard, I take it you mean an explosive? Until not long ago, anyone having the magical words could control you and you would submit to something like that again?"

"No. Before, they could transform me into an assassin. Now, I could be stopped from being one."

"Or stopped while you're saving your Steve."

He looked at her. "I doubt you would do that. You wouldn't betray me, would you?" His flesh hand squeezed her fingers, a gentle squeeze, and suddenly she had difficulties to breathe.

"You... I don't understand how you can be so trusting after all that happened to you!" she cried out.

"I trust only the right people, those who really care for me," he replied seriously. "Besides, have you forgotten? I have a bodyguard."

Shuri gaped at him, startled. Behind Bucky's shoulder, Summer waved at her. The young Princess was quite disgruntled that she had completely forgotten about her.

"Finally, I changed my mind," she announced.

"No lab?"

"No tinkering with your arm. I'll have to think about your... request. No need to make you come there twice." Bucky was looking around him in wonder as they descended in her lab. She had had it rebuilt exactly as it had been, though he didn't know that. Once he set foot in it, he stared at the Vibranium he could see through the glass before frowning heavily.

"What?" she asked, worried. "You don't like it?"

"It's not safe. Anyone can enter here." Behind him, Summer nodded her agreement. Shuri looked at them without understanding.

"It _is_ safe. There are Dora Milaje at the entrance."

"Why no doors?"

"It is not so big that I need doors. It would only bother me when I move in the lab."

"No containment security system."

"Industrial espionage," Summer echoed softly.

She shrugged. "You worry too much. Nobody ever comes here. Besides, our computer systems are so advanced that nobody can hack them. I had to seriously juggle to be able to install an old tech computer in your office." She dragged him to an examination table. "Lie here."

He didn't move. "Or not," she amended. "If you can stand still for a long time, you can remain on your feet."

"Oh, I can, believe me." He had a flashback of standing barefoot in the snow for hours on end, just so the HYDRA scientists could verify if their version of the super soldier serum would protect him from frostbite – and if he was obedient. Shuri had her back to him, so she didn't notice anything. Summer though was observing him closely and she elbowed him.

"No," she whispered. "It's over. Those who did that to you are dead. You're in Wakanda and you can walk out whenever you want."

"That obvious?"

"I know what you are thinking of. You were not the only one subjected to it."

Shuri briskly surrounded him with high-tech equipment.

"How about you tell me what you intend to do before I freak out and destroy half your lab?" he said, keeping his voice level with some effort.

"I'm doing a check on your mind to see if I can heal some of the damages done to it."

He frowned. "I thought you already did."

"No, genius. I removed the conditioning, that's all I did. Your Captain wasn't too keen on letting me play as much as I wanted."

"Probably afraid you'd turn me into the White Wolf with some trigger words."

Shuri sniffed disparagingly. "Stupid. Much better to have you as White Wolf on your own free will. More powerful, for one." She glanced at him and stopped moving. She came in front of him and gentled her voice. "I promise I won't touch any of your memories or add anything in them. Just some healing."

He nodded, but still steeled himself as the hologram appeared between Shuri and him and she began fiddling with it.

"Some things already healed on their own, which probably explained the rush of memories you gained lately. Some parts are still damaged though. I can help heal some... There. And there. Does it change anything?"

"No."

She craned her neck to look at him. "Relax." Her index hit two dots on the hologram. "Oops, I just erased all your memories of Steve. Clumsy me."

"Not funny," he said sourly. Summer was chuckling.

"Believe me, if HYDRA had known what I do, they would have made Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes entirely disappear from your mind and he would never have come back."

"Is it supposed to make me feel better?"

"Of course! I know what I'm doing! With one sweep of my finger, I could make the Winter Soldier disappear."

"His victims, _my_ victims, deserve to be remembered."

"What good does it do to them?" Summer exclaimed with anger. "They're dead!"


	8. You Like Him

**Disclaimer** : never did and never will own it. Marvel does.  
 **Spoilers** : canon until Captain America: Civil War (and the post-credit scenes of Black Panther).  
 **Timeline** : supposedly happens between Avengers Infinity War and Avengers 4.

* * *

"White Wolf asked me for something. He wants you to stay away from him or else, you should be protected with Vibranium." T'Challa smiled at that, probably imagining her in a Vibranium suit.

"Yes, he told me. Not going to happen."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "I want him to stop brooding?" she offered.

"He's afraid he'll lose it and that you'll be at the receiving end of it."

"He's not going to hurt me and he needs to realise it. I'm totally safe with him."

"You like him."

"Do not," she huffed.

"You're lying."

"What if I am?"

"Nothing. Just... You're nineteen and he... a bit older."

Shuri laughed. "You're going too fast! I'm not romantically interested."

"Oh? What interests you then?"

"He's fun."

At T'Challa's sceptical look, she added, "I can tease him to no end and he just stands here, looking at me with patience, waiting for me to stop. I want to make him laugh. He makes _me_ laugh, with his dry comments. He has lots of humour, you know. Then he's smart. A lot smarter than what his so-called friends think. Finally, he's got heart."

T'Challa's look turned downward incredulous. "The infamous ex fearsome assassin?"

"Yes! That's why you named him White Wolf, didn't you?"

"Not so. Because he's loyal and fiercely protective of his loved– okay, you got me there."

"How can you be loyal and fiercely protective if you haven't got a big heart? I don't speak of fanaticism, but of real loyalty."

"I can find some people who are loyal to monsters and yet it is not fanaticism."

"To the point of accepting to fight when they're just sick of it? Yeah, thought so. And last, he doesn't treat me like a princess."

"I don't either."

"You're always busy. He has time for me." She waved her hand dismissively. "I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty. You're a king, you cannot spend all your time with your little sister, even when she's the head of the design department. I know some people disapprove of me anyway and that they consider your attitude toward me too lenient."

"Spending time with the White Wolf is not going to help that," T'Challa noted. "A _white_ man, American to boot..."

"I can dye him black, if you want," she replied cheekily. "I'm pretty sure he would let me do. Anyway, wait for them to see him in action and they'll change their mind. Some already did."


	9. Bucky's Past

**Disclaimer** : never did and never will own it. Marvel does.  
 **Spoilers** : canon until Captain America: Civil War (and the post-credit scenes of Black Panther).  
 **Timeline** : supposedly happens between Avengers Infinity War and Avengers 4.

* * *

"Tell me about Wolf– Bucky."

"Why do you want to know?"

"Some of his memories are... strange. Let's say most of them are blue, okay?"

"Blue?"

"Bear with me, I'm trying to explain something to you without complicated terms. Those damaged by HYDRA are grey. Sometimes, I can heal them and restore them to blue. Areas of his brains are black, with access to them definitely burnt. And some of them are... purple."

"What does it mean?"

"I don't know. It could be he's accessing them often, trying to understand them. Or it could be they are implanted memories."

"You mean modified? Like in that movie because of some venom?"

"No, not modified. Implanted. Memories of things that never happened. Some of them look innocuous but others seem really impacting. I want to better understand him to see if I have to heal that part of his brain or if I have to remove those memories completely."

"It could change him!"

"Which is why I want to better understand him." She looked up seriously at him. "Do me a favour, will you? Next time you play the 'do you remember' game, don't stop at his 'yes, I do'. Dig further. Check if he remembers the same as you do, minus the small details that always differ."

"Okay. Now, what do you want to know?"

"I don't care. Whatever you want to tell me."

So Steve told her of his first encounter with Bucky, how he had even challenged him and Bucky had just brushed it off, calling him 'a real inspiration'. Then he told her of the art courses, though during the retelling, he felt a bit ashamed to admit that Bucky had mostly come for the feminine models – and for Steve's friendship. Shuri looked a bit bemused.

"He's not like that anymore, now, is he?"

"Well, he has a metal arm and he considers himself like an assassin of the worst kind, an enemy of his own country. I don't think his mind is on women. If sometimes he admires one, I'm pretty sure he deems himself not worthy of her."

His eyes took a distant look, when he remembered Bucky telling him that he was turning into him. He didn't remember having seen him with a woman from that moment on. Azzano had changed his friend in more ways than he knew.

"What else?" Shuri prodded.

Because it was on his mind, he told her of his 400 men rescue, as Bucky liked to call it, even though, for Steve himself, it had first and foremost been for Bucky. Shuri laughed when he told her of his reply to Gabe Jones, about knocking out Hitler over two hundred times.

"You really did tell him that? Oh Bast, I wish I'd been there to see his face!" She shook her head, still laughing. "Wolfie has his work cut out for him to keep you out of troubles."

She became serious again when he described how he had found Bucky, strapped in Zola's lab and then the surreal dialogue they had had.

"Did it hurt? He really said that? You found him strapped to one of their contraptions, having been tortured and he asked _you_ 'did it hurt'?" She stood up and paced around. "That man is mad!"

She snickered as he mentioned Bucky's quip about Schmidt's face and protested when he finished his retelling by a simple "We walked back to the American Army camp."

"No, you didn't. Why didn't you ask him how he was? Certainly you did! What did he say?"

"I didn't ask and he didn't say. On the other hand, _he_ made _me_ tell him everything about the super soldier serum and what had happened to me. He smiled at the mention of the USO. Now that I think of it, before, he would have laughed himself silly."

"Why?"

"Because for all Bucky fussed over me, still does, especially when I was sick, he will never breathe a word about himself."

He had a flashback again, this time of Bucky restrained in his security pod and telling the evaluator that he 'didn't want to talk about it'. It had always been like that.

"So he didn't tell you what he went through? And he walked back to the camp? Thirty miles?"

"Yes. The one time I asked him if he wanted to travel in the tank, he told me to stop fussing or else, even if I was now bigger than him, he would knock me out. He would have done it too or died trying."

"You sure he didn't ride once in the tank?" Shuri insisted.

Steve frowned. "He was by my side all the time. He said if I could walk back to camp, me, the asthmatic guy, then he could too. Why?"

"Because one of his purple memories is of being in the tank, with a small Asian-looking man mocking him for being weak."

"Jim Morita never mocked Bucky. He and the rest of the Howling Commandos were urging him to rest, because apparently, he had had pneumonia just before Zola took him for a guinea pig. I don't know where this memory comes from, but it's not a true one. Could it be… I don't know, a fear he had during the way back and that crystallised into a memory after what HYDRA did to him?"

"I don't know."

-o-o-

Steve didn't know if Shuri had managed to corner Bucky and remove the offending memory from his brain before she came in asking him to share more moments of his friend's past. For a moment, Steve hesitated; after all, if Bucky didn't share them himself, there maybe was a good reason and by acceding to Shuri's request, he was betraying him.

"I'm not prying for the sake of it," she said seriously. "If I could just remove everything without caring, I'd do it. But I like him the way he is and I'd like him to remain so."

He nodded. For a moment, he didn't know what to tell her, before starting on glimpses of camaraderie during the war. While retelling them, he was startled to realise how serious Bucky had already been at that time. True, he had laughed from time to time, but mostly, he was grimly doing his work – protecting Steve to all costs.

"God, what an awful friend I have been! I was so caught in the war that I didn't notice that my friend was feeling down."

"Why do you think he changed so much?"

"I would guess that it was partly because of what happened to him in Zola's lab. Bucky had to know that Zola had injected him some things, a weaker version of the super soldier serum of course, but what else? Knowing him, he saw himself as a monster, maybe wondering if sometime in the future, he was going to turn against us." He closed his eyes a brief instant and Shuri hated herself when seeing the pain on his face. "Then," he added softly, "I know that when I was spending time with the commanders, Bucky was undergoing some specific training. If you want to know more about it, you'll have to ask him, because no one in the Howling Commandos would tell me exactly what it was. I ended up doing as if I didn't know about those training sessions. I'm fairly sure that if they didn't tell me, it's because they knew I wouldn't approve. For example, there was this time…"

 _They were lying low in front of the HYDRA base. Steve's favourite method was usually to barge in and punch away everyone standing in his path. Falsworth doing his best to show him that it wasn't always the best solution, Steve had agreed, quite a while ago, to recon missions. He was glad they had made one that day. The base was huge, soldiers heavily armed with HYDRA's latest weapons patrolling regularly and snipers on the towers. There was no chance for them to approach without being spotted at once. Bucky went from his lying-low position to a crouch and cracked his neck, trying to look casual._

" _I guess that's for me," he said quietly. "When you gotta go, you gotta go. Dernier?"_

 _The French man gave him something that Bucky slipped in his pocket. Steve was looking at him with wide eyes._

" _What do you think you're doing?" he hissed. "Get down! They could see you! We'll think through this."_

 _Bucky didn't even listen to him. He turned to Dugan. "Dum Dum, don't let him move until I'm ready."_

 _They all had a small nod, as if they knew something Steve didn't._

" _Wait for my signal," Bucky added and he left, without mentioning what his signal would be._

 _It was like watching an eel. One moment he was there, the next one, he had disappeared. Steve couldn't even fathom how he reached the base; he kept fearing that one of the enemies would see him on a stroke of luck. Nothing happened. Bucky made it there safely and only because Steve knew what to look for did he manage to spot him till the end. He made it look so easy! Now, all they had to do was to wait for Bucky's signal, whatever it was, but Steve took it badly. Bucky could have been discovered, hurt, maybe killed… Several times, Gabe Jones had to restrain him._

" _You'll get him killed!" he finally hissed, which had the immediate effect of subduing Steve… until an explosion made him almost jump to his feet._

" _Let's go! It's Bucky's signal!"_

 _Dugan forcefully made him lie low again and Steve was so surprised that he found himself on his stomach before he could react. "Wait!" Dum Dum said. "It's not over."_

" _No?" Steve was unsure. Why did they know things about Bucky that_ he _didn't? Why was Bucky hiding things from him? Jim Morita sighed._

" _Orders from above," he said shortly. "And God, does he hate it."_

" _What?"_

" _Hiding from you. He said you should know, but they refused."_

" _And you do?"_

 _He shrugged. "I'm not a symbol."_

 _Steve turned his eyes back to the base in time to see a series of explosions wreak chaos._

"Now _, it's the signal," Dugan said. "Let's go, boys! Wahoo!"_

 _A few minutes later, as Steve was fighting several HYDRA soldiers, he heard the distinct sound of Bucky's Johnson rifle. To convince him he was not hearing wrong, one of the soldiers fell lifeless at his feet. He looked up where Bucky should have been and indeed, he could see the blue of his coat. A huge weight lifted from his chest._

"They taught him stealth," Shuri said thoughtfully.

"They taught him to do the dirty job," said a new voice.

Summer had an unrepentant grin as they both looked at her. "Sorry for intruding. That's how he defines it. Doing the dirty job. He told me about it once, said he was predestined to do that again and again." She could see they were perturbed by her presence and her revelations, so she just threw at Shuri what she was bringing to her and left. Shuri looked down at the box in her hand without truly seeing it. "Okay," she said. "What else?"

Because one mission led to another, Steve ended up telling her about the train, that hated mission that had cost him Bucky.

"I wonder if Zola recognised him and, when he fell, he asked someone to retrieve him. After all, he had his serum in his veins. Probably not. At that time, Bucky was looking healthier than when he was strapped into Zola's lab. There would have been no reason for Zola to expect him here."

"Except for you," Shuri said gently.

"What?"

"Last time, you told me you faced Schmidt and that Zola was by his side. You were with Wolfie, so Zola could easily understand you were friends. He _could_ have been any prisoner, but not the way he talked to you. So…"

"So, when seeing me on his train with someone remotely looking like him, he thought fate was giving him a sign. If–"

"Don't even start," Shuri warned him. "He made his choices and you know what? If you ask him, I'm pretty sure he would tell you he would stand up again to protect you with the shield, even knowing he would fall. Because that's who he is. Caring for the others first. Well, you, at least."

Steve hesitated, then nodded. "Thank you, Shuri. I… I have to go away for a while, so no more stories. Do me a favour, will you? Be nice with him."

"I'm always nice!" she protested, mock-offended. "Think hard about what next you're going to tell me. I don't think we've covered all the purple dots."

"Did you modify some of them yet?"

"Do you know how hard it is to drag the man in my lab? The last time I succeeded, he wouldn't have stood straighter had I strapped him to a tree."

"Thank you for trying. It means a great deal to me."


	10. The Red Room

Shuri was wandering, for once not tinkering in her lab. She was bored. Then she saw, in a secluding corner – it was one of _hers_ , how had they found it? – two people, one all in black with a metal arm and the other in the grey and red of the Dora Milaje, though the long braid of red hair clearly indicated her to be White Wolf's little foundling. Shuri had witnessed enough training sessions to see that they were not using the usual tactics of the elite bodyguards' squad, though Bucky was integrating some of them in his routine.

"Come now," he said as he pinned his opponent on the ground, "you can do better than that."

Summer wriggled from under him, knowing fully that he _let_ her do, and jumped to her feet.

"You know," she said, her breath short, "when Evgeny and Sofia said it would be an honour to train with you, I didn't imagine I'd be so humiliated."

"Who are Evgeny and Sofia?"

"The trainers of the Red Room."

He softly growled. "Believe me, if you had been this sloppy against me in the Red Room, you would not have had a second chance." Then he had a smirk. "Consider yourself lucky, you're entitled to another bout."

She groaned but got ready. He flipped her hard on her back in record time.

"You're not concentrated," he chided her. "In real battle, that would get you killed. What are you thinking of? Identify it and push it out of your mind."

"Can't," she wheezed.

"Why?"

"You're in front of me all the time!" she cried out, glaring at him.

Shuri had to admit that her glare was good, considering she was lying on her back at his feet. His eyes narrowed.

"Stop with that. It amuses Steve, but he's not here. We have work to do. T'Challa twisted Okoye's arm for you to be admitted in the Dora Milaje, but still, I'm sure that's not the kind of performance you gave when they admitted you. Or else, I'll have to start their training from scratch."

Shuri decided it was a good moment to make her presence known. She stepped forward and they turned toward her. There was no surprise in Bucky's eyes; he had known she had been here.

"He is impressive," she commented, smiling at Summer who was standing up.

"Yeah. In the Red Room, where I was... trained," – she ignored Bucky's soft "Brainwashed" – "the trainers sometimes showed us videos of him fighting, to motivate us. Previous sessions of the Winter Soldiers against the best of us."

Bucky's eyes had turned inscrutable and he was holding himself far too rigidly. He had obviously not known about it. Summer carefully kept looking at Shuri.

"There was one rule known from everyone there. The weakest die. But the trainers realised that maybe they had killed too many of us. After all, there always can be only one victor. So, to push us, us being the women of course, they told us that the best among us would be personally trained by the Winter Soldier and maybe, if we were good enough, _noticed_ by him."

Bucky froze at the emphasis she put on the word 'noticed'. Summer was very careful not to let him see her face.

"There was a rumour about the Winter Soldier having taken one of us as his lover, the last one to be called the Black Widow, how she had been so good he had to make her his. Of course, she had been proud to be noticed. It has to look like a fairy tale. A twisted one, but still, you see the kind, 'the beautiful spy and the amazing assassin fell in love' kind. I always suspected that the trainers did everything they could for this rumour to stay alive. And there was another rumour, which said that if one of us was to become our legend's lover, this one would avoid the graduation ceremony."

"Graduation ceremony?" Shuri repeated.

"Yeah. Part of the procedure before launching you in the world. Sterilising you. Terribly efficient." Her tone forbade any compassion. "So, if we were noticed, we would have the right to bear children. The Winter Soldier's children."

"This is a horrible joke," Bucky said, his voice hoarse. "Did someone tell you what happened to Natalia when she was _noticed_ by me? They beat me in front of her, then beat _her_ down and while she was still lying on the floor, they wiped my memory under her eyes, so she would know I would not remember her."

"I know that they lied to me, but at that time, I didn't question it. You were our greatest hero and we were all in love with you."

Bucky had a harsh laugh. "When they beat down Natalia, they told her repeatedly that love was for children. Yet they used it later to manipulate you?"

"Love and fanaticism are very close feelings," Shuri noticed.

"But it was before," Bucky pressed. "Now that you know the truth, now that you know _me_ , all that is reduced to nothing. Right?"

"Well... I know you," she began cautiously.

"There's no chance the videos, pictures and legends could compare to the reality," Shuri put in.

Summer sighed in relief at being understood. "Exactly! In the videos, you looked like a robot and besides you always had the goggles and mask. In truth, you are a dangerous predator, beautiful and deadly. Like you said, I was in love with my gun. Now, I'm in love with the man."

"Doesn't hurt he's sweet on the eyes too," Shuri added.

Summer grinned. "That helped," she admitted. She glanced at him. "Still does."

Bucky turned around and left.

"Did he leave for the reason I think?" Shuri asked.

Summer didn't answer immediately. "When I told him I would dance with him if he invited me, he left, exactly like that. Cap– Nomad told me the explanation was 'killing hands'."

"Dance?"

"Yeah. Apparently, he is... was a good dancer and loved to dance. I don't think he practiced any since he's been turned into the Winter Soldier, but Nomad was pushing him to try it again. But now, he only sees his hands as capable of killing, so how could he dare put them on an innocent girl's waist? Even if I'm far from being innocent."

"And us finding him attractive doesn't sit well with him?"

"He thought that my feelings for him were due to the brainwashing from the Red Room and that they would fade as I would know the man behind the legend. As for you, I'd gather he's completely baffled. You're supposed to be sane and smart," she added with a wink.

"Dance, huh?" Shuri repeated, thoughtful.

Summer groaned. "Tell me you're not serious!"

"Of course I am. It's the perfect idea to help him recover his confidence!"

"You're going to scare this poor Bucky."

"How can you call him Bucky? It sounds like a dog's name."

"Because Wolfie's better?"

Shuri grinned. "Not my fault if he was dubbed 'White Wolf'. Why don't you call him James?"

"He doesn't like to be called anything else than Bucky. I think he killed the last one who did."

"Oh? What name did he use?"

"Bastard, I think," Summer said, deadpan.

Shuri laughed. "So of course, you stick to Bucky."

"I'd call him anything he wants me to. Though I admit there's a certain thrill in saying 'my Bucky'."

"Really? You sure it's not due to the use of the possessive?"

Summer shrugged. "You've got it bad, girl," Shuri said.

"You should have seen Olga, one of my... colleagues. The best of us. Totally head over heels for him, though she had never spoken to him. Kept pushing herself to be always on top. She managed to find his resting place and would spend hours looking at him in his cryo-sleep. Creepy. She tattooed herself with a rough sketch of his face, fortunately hidden by the goggles and mask, since they had put him in cryo like that."

"Not very smart considering he was supposed to be a secret."

"Yeah, but she was past beyond caring. Our trainers found out, of course. They punished her." Summer shook her head. "She wanted to hear his voice, if only once. She never heard anything else after."

"What happened?"

"They pitted her against the Winter Soldier, along with several stupid soldiers who thought they were good enough. He dispatched them with so much ease that it was unreal. Olga... for all she was the best of us, she was so awed in finally seeing him in front of her, she took too long in getting into the fight. With the Winter Soldier, every _second_ counts. His keepers had told him to say to his opponents what caused their defeat, as if they could learn of their mistake... Or maybe it was for our benefit, when they showed us the footage. So when Olga fell, he told her she was too slow. I don't think he understood that in any other case, she could have been fast as lightning. The cult of adoration they had built around him had given them a disservice. But they wanted someone so good that they would be able to parry against the object of their affection." She shook her head again. "I hope he doesn't remember that."

"I'm sure that he has worse memories," Shuri said pensively. "Unfortunately. Hey, something's strange in your story. He was in Siberia, wasn't he? The Red Room was there too?"

"No, in Belarus. But the Winter Soldier wasn't kept all the time in Siberia. Did you think Pierce found him there? He would have taken the five psycho-killers also. There were cryo-chambers in every facility, obviously, as Olga discovered. I think there's one at the Lubyanka. I don't know why he was in Belarus while I was there too, but it was not the first time, since he met Black Widow. Maybe they transferred him there each time they wanted to test the pupils of the academy."

"He's free from HYDRA for five years now and before, he was in custody of Pierce. How could you see him?"

"Oh, I didn't. I only saw videos of him, heard rumours and such. Even Olga was not my year mate. I was way younger when she died. But everybody knew of her obsession."

"But if he was a secret, how is it so many of you knew about him?"

Summer remained silent for so long that Shuri thought for a moment she hadn't heard her question. Then, as she opened her mouth to ask her again, Summer said, "You know, I wondered the same thing for quite a long time and I finally found the answer. Olga died maybe two years before the attempted uprising from HYDRA. The year after the uprising, all the Red Room's pupils of her year were dead, down to the last one. In fact, all those who were told of the Winter Soldier died. We were supposed to bring him back, to any cost, but someone didn't want us to succeed. Even Evgeny and Sofia are dead now. I'm the last one left."

"Any idea why?"

"Oh, I have a protector, someone high in the hierarchy. Besides, my last mission was to recover the Winter Soldier at New Avengers Facility, but some henchmen were sent to kill me. Unfortunately for them, they faced Bucky and Nomad. I think I should have died then. Probably would have if not for my training and the protection of two super soldiers."

"You think someone wants to keep the existence of the Winter Soldier a mystery?"

Summer shrugged. "How, I don't know, since the medias already spread out his name, but maybe limit the number of people knowing exactly what he can do."

"Someone planning on using him again."

"Yes. Though considering you un-programmed him, I don't have a clue how they could proceed."


	11. Bucky and Shuri In California

**Disclaimer** : never did and never will own it. Marvel does.  
 **Spoilers** : canon until Captain America: Civil War (and the post-credit scenes of Black Panther).  
 **Timeline** : supposedly happens between Avengers Infinity War and Avengers 4.

* * *

T'Challa dragged Okoye, Bucky and Summer to Shuri's lab with no explanation why. Okoye commented that Nakia had left the previous day, so he was feeling off. He ignored her, though he had the same frown as Okoye when seeing the first door, in front of which two Dora Milaje were standing.

"My King," the first one greeted, while the second one pointed her Kimoyo beads to the door to open it.

T'Challa went forward without saying a word, but the enigmatic smile he had been wearing at the beginning was now gone. Bucky lagged behind to have a closer look at the door.

"Vibranium, White Wolf," the first Dora Milaje murmured.

"Tremendous," he replied and he shared an understanding look with Summer.

The more they advanced, the more T'Challa was frowning. He ended up with his Black Panther suit on and running, until the last heavy door. He banged against it.

"Shuri!" he shouted. "Shuri! Are you all right?"

The door opened... and it was a white corridor behind.

"Brother! Why didn't you warn me beforehand you were coming?"

"What happened? What are all those doors? They weren't there last time I came!"

Shuri played with her beads and the doors and the walls of the corridors vanished, retracting into the floor and ceiling.

" _Someone_ told me my lab wasn't safe, so I added some security to put their worries at rest. Vibranium walls, with kinetic energy redistribution that I can pilot from a distance and some more fun things. But I don't think you're here for my walls."

T'Challa first stared at his sister without understanding before turning to Bucky and his smile reappeared.

"You said you were going to Oakland tomorrow."

"Yes, conference about Vibranium and healing, something like that. I have to check exactly the subject. Did I forget something? I warned Ayo and you, did I miss something else?" She looked at Bucky. "Must I warn our spymaster too?"

"In the future, it would be a good idea. This time, though, it doesn't matter, since he will be going with you."

"Will I, now?" Bucky said softly.

For a brief instant, T'Challa looked not _worried_ , because he had confidence in his abilities to take down the man in front of him, but surprised at this soft, dangerous tone. Until now, except during the battles against Thanos or his minions, Bucky had kept a low profile. He had meekly agreed to pretty much everything – except when he thought it would put someone in danger, like Shuri running into him. Even when getting his new arm, he had not protested though he knew it meant going back to war. T'Challa chose to take it on the teasing side.

"Afraid of my sister, aren't you? I mean, who wouldn't?"

"Aw, T'Challa, no!" Shuri whined. "Why do you do that? A hundred years old man! He won't let me have any fun!"

Okoye raised her eyebrows. "Because the Dora Milaje let you have fun?"

"Let's say that… how did Nakia put it? She made a bit of a mess last time she went to Oakland," T'Challa said, sounding amused.

Bucky had an apologetic smile. "Then I'm not sure I am the right man to trust on such a delicate mission. If you ask some people, I often create messy situations too. Steve tells me it shouldn't always end up in a fight, but with me, it does. Shuri wouldn't be safe with me."

"Taking any bet?" T'Challa said before turning to his sister. "It's his homeland and even when he was brainwashed as an assassin, he managed to mingle with them without being noticed."

Shuri began eyeing Bucky with interest. He sighed.

"Better go prepare my bag then. Congratulations on the doors, Shuri. Coming, Summer? I'll have to brief you."

"On what?"

"On caring for the War Dogs during my absence, even though I guess I'll have access to a computer over there. If there's an urgency, I want you to be able to answer it in time."

"I thought you liked him," T'Challa whispered to Shuri. "Here's the occasion. He will have time just for you and you'll be able to tease him to no end."

"I do like him, but still, who would choose a killer as a Princess's chaperone?"

T'Challa smiled. "I wouldn't put it like that. I asked a former assassin to protect she who healed him and treated him as a decent human being."

She looked offended. "What do you mean, 'a decent human being'? Of course, I do! He is decent, far more than others! The Americans may have glorified Killmonger for his talents, but he was rotten. Wolfie is vilified, but he–"

"Don't yell at me. It was some advice I was given, though until then it hadn't occurred to me to do anything else."

Shuri had tears in her eyes. "I promise you, Brother, that I will not shame you on this."

-o-o-

Though it was by no means her first trip to California, she was like a little girl as they walked among the streets. It amused Bucky, a kind of revenge for all the times she had lorded it above him in Wakanda. It didn't forbid him to remain vigilant – it was a second nature to him and he wondered if it wasn't the reason why T'Challa had chosen him to escort his sister. Casually, he put his arm around Shuri's shoulders; she looked at him, surprised, her heartbeat coming a little faster.

"What is it?"

He leaned toward her. "Want to hear an old lame joke?" he whispered. "Why was it forbidden to water plants in the USRR and the GDR?"

Truth to be told, Shuri was far more preoccupied by understanding why Bucky's sudden proximity was causing such strange troubles in her than by finding the answer to his question.

"I don't know," she replied, glad that her voice was steady.

"You didn't think," he chided her. "Because microphones rust, of course."

She stared at him, completely staggered, before laughing. She almost didn't notice when he steered her in a side street. "It's rubbish!"

"Told you so," he said, half-apologetically. "But it was almost true. That's the kind of jokes Markus Wolf, the East-German spymaster, liked to tell."

"You know others?"

"Oh, plenty! I can tell East-German and Soviet jokes to you and quote Shakespeare to Summer, no problem. But we've escaped scrutiny, so we may keep it for later."

"What?"

"We were under watch or something like that. But we look like a normal couple, joking and laughing, so they stopped following us."

His arm was still around her shoulders, which was why she was not thinking as fast as usually.

"It was all a ploy?"

He tugged her forward. "Why? You think I spend my time telling old lame jokes? I couldn't think of anything remotely funny to say and I wanted you to laugh."

"You could have asked me!"

"Nah. Apparently, Romanoff once asked Steve to laugh on command, she said it was very bad. On the other hand, she also asked him to kiss her and it wasn't better, was I told."

Shuri almost stopped in her tracks at that, but for all he said it was a ploy, Bucky had yet to remove his arm from her shoulders and she had no choice but to continue walking.

"You're going to ask me to kiss you?"

"I'm trying to avoid you that," he said, a bit stiffly.

"I thought you didn't speak with Romanoff."

"Past deeds with Steve are a safe subject, especially when she can tease him. Poor Steve. Except for that Carter woman, he never initiated the first move." Unconsciously, he pulled her closer to him. "We need to find him a girl."

He let go of her when arriving in view of the Wakandan International Outreach Centre and increased slightly the distance between them. The Dora Milaje in front of the door nodded to them.

"T'Challa just blurted whatever came to his mind," Bucky muttered. "There's no way having me instead of them would make you unnoticed."

"Don't be stupid. If I were to go into town flanked by them, I'd be followed everywhere. You look like any other American, if we except the long-sleeved shirt in summer. And the gloves."

"Less conspicuous than a metal arm."

"On the other hand, you didn't protest much," she replied teasingly. "If you wanted to spend more time with me, all you had to do was ask, you know."

He had a short laugh and she was thrilled to hear it. _One point for me, T'Challa, I made him laugh. Told you I could!_

"I'll keep that in mind, Shuri." His voice was a low rumble, a soft caress to her nerves still raw from his previous casual gesture of holding her shoulders. Though considering how he usually tensed when people touched him, maybe it hadn't been casual on his part.

-o-o-

She took the time to change, putting on a sober outfit before entering the auditorium, already crowded though they were early. She had a bright smile as she walked to the stage. Bucky remained in the back, leaning against the wall. The subject of the conference was the application of Vibranium to the uses of medicine. She mentioned Everett Ross's treatment, but thankfully left out the deprogramming of Bucky's mind. Questions fused from everywhere, more than she could answer, but she seemed to enjoy it, firing answers almost as fast. From time to time, her eyes turned toward Bucky, just enough to send him a quick grin, before giving again her full attention to the crowd. He thought that if M'Baku could see her now, he would not consider her so disrespectful and carefree.

At the end of the conference, people queued to register to the next ones, which would be in smaller committees, for more practical applications. Bucky wondered if he would have to shoot someone so that Shuri could demonstrate how easy it was to heal them with Vibranium. When she joined him, on the heels of the last participant, she seemed to know what he was thinking and she laughed, a tired but happy laugh.

"No, Wolfie, you won't have to do that. I'm sure we'll find a solution without going to that length. Fortunately, I'm not going to cure cancer next week, if not, would you have inflicted one to a guinea pig?"

He smirked. "I'm sure S.H.I.E.L.D. has in store some people they'll like to get rid of. We could inject them some illness in terminal stage…"

She stared at him, horrified. "Bad Wolfie! Do you know how long it took me to find a cure for _you_? And it wasn't a peaceful trip. There was lots of yelling, of insults, of pacing and muttering and total wreck of the copy I had made of your brain. I restored it countless times before even getting to the point I could safety remove _one_ trigger word. Don't know why, removing more than one unbalanced the whole algorithm."

He raised his eyebrows. "Are you telling me that you removed only one word and that the rest is still in my mind, waiting to be activated?"

"No, genius! I just had to create a whole new algorithm, better of course, but I also had to re-run all the tests. Boring. Three hours of test, failure, one tiny modification of the program and back to three hours of test. During _weeks_."

She was so overdoing it that Bucky laughed. "Ah, girl, you're so unique!"

"Unique enough that you'd buy me pizza?" she asked hopefully.

"How could I refuse since I cost you weeks of boring activity when you could have made some new breakthrough in the use of Vibranium?"

"Are you mocking me?"

"Now why would I do that? Come, girl, let's put some food in your hungry stomach."

"No, no! We're going to do this right! We _order_ pizza, so we can have movie time! What, why are you looking at me like that? Can't be working all the time and I'm sure you have seventy years of movies to catch up with. So, pizza, couch, popcorn and here we go!"

-o-o-

Bucky humoured her – because there wasn't anything else he could do anyway. He ordered two pizzas, while Shuri led him upstairs where they had their respective bedroom. She opened a door they hadn't used until now, revealing a huge living room, with a comfortable looking sofa facing a TV screen.

"It looks like something Stark would have designed," Bucky commented dryly, slipping his phone in his pocket.

"Maybe you could call him Tony now?"

She rearranged some cushions to her taste before shyly looking at him. "There's this movie... It's my favourite and it's probably not something you'll enjoy much, but I'd like to watch it with you."

For a brief instant, she savoured seeing him completely stumped by her admission.

"Why wouldn't I enjoy it?" he asked slowly.

"Well, it happens during the Cold War and it's not remotely funny."

"I don't care for that. I'll be happy to watch your favourite movie with you, the more since you want to share it with me."

He was sincere and once again, Shuri's heart beat a little faster. Fortunately, she was saved by the arrival of the pizzas' delivery, which gave her the time to find her countenance back. She dragged a small table in front of the sofa while Bucky went down to retrieve the pizzas and pay the delivery man. They sat side by side and Shuri started the movie.

" _The Hunt for Red October_ ," Bucky said aloud, a bit doubtful.

To say he was engrossed in it would have been an understatement. He didn't say a word during the whole time, though he snickered once or twice when the characters were speaking Russian – apparently, Sean Connery's accent was not right – and watched it with a surprising intensity. Shuri, who knew the dialogs by heart, spent more time watching him than watching the movie. As the end credits rolled, Bucky leaned back in the sofa.

"Thank you. I'm honoured you shared this movie with me. You usually watched it with your father, didn't you?"

She nodded. "So, not too bad?"

"No, on the contrary. I liked it very much. Stark... Tony will disavow me, but I prefer this to the _Star Wars_ movies."

"Maybe because it's more real for you?"

"Real?" He had a mirthless laugh. "My best friend suddenly became a giant, I have a metal arm and spent countless years in cryostasis, I've fought a man who masquerades as a big cat while another casts spider webs from his fingers, an alien with his minions tried to invade us, I had a discussion with a talking raccoon and a tree, and I'm supposed to find something _real_?" He shook his head. "I've stopped wondering about so many things, girl, you'd be surprised. Tony would announce me tomorrow that he managed to create those laser sabres, I would almost ask him what took him so long." He stood up, gathered the empty pizza cardboard boxes and leaned forward to place a chaste kiss on her brow.

"Thank you for this very enjoyable evening."

As he left immediately, he never saw her remain transfixed on the sofa.


	12. The Letter

**Disclaimer** : never did and never will own it. Marvel does.  
 **Spoilers** : canon until Captain America: Civil War (and the post-credit scenes of Black Panther).  
 **Timeline** : supposedly happens between Avengers Infinity War and Avengers 4.

* * *

The third time Shuri and Steve met, it was after his return. She felt he was agitated, especially considering that he had almost dragged her out of her lab to talk to her.

"What's wrong?"

"Now that Tony is completely on Buck's side, he pulled some strings. When we were still... estranged, I told him I wouldn't forgive his father for knowing about Bucky being a guinea pig for HYDRA and doing nothing about it. It was just a blind probe, I knew nothing, I had no proof." He looked up at her. "Tony found the proof." He held an old letter to her. She opened it, glanced at the signature – Colonel Phillips's – and started reading.

 _Son,_

 _I have to believe what they told me, that you're alive and will come back sooner or later. Because your version of the serum was the perfect one, so if he survived, you should have too. I'm not supposed to know. Your friend, Sergeant Barnes, is alive. He's the prisoner of the Soviets. You know me, you witnessed first-hand my reaction about the soldiers of Azzano, but still, we should have done something for Barnes. They tortured him, transformed him into an enemy of his own country and we are doing_ nothing _. We have an agent, a mole, among them and if we free Barnes, he'll be discovered and executed. His live is apparently worth more than your friend's._

 _So I'm telling you, because I know that as soon as you'll hear the news, nothing will matter but save your friend. Stark and Peggy know too. The first of us_ _seeing you – or the last to die if you take too much time in coming back – will tell you and if we're all dead, someone will give you this letter._

 _This is all my fault. When I first interrogated Zola, I told him that Barnes was your closest friend. And I let him free. He tricked me all those years. The mole said Zola continued to experiment on Barnes. No doubt he counted on it to come back at you. I'm glad he died before he could._

 _I'm sorry, Steve._

 _Colonel Chester Phillips_

"He must have been truly lost to end up his letter like that, telling me he's sorry," Steve commented, knowing when she had finished reading it. "By the time I was out of the ice, both he and Stark were dead and Peggy was losing memory half the time. Fury apparently didn't know about the letter. It was buried under many papers, until Tony started asking too many questions. You remember, I told you that I wondered if Zola had recognised Bucky in the train, if he had given the orders for finding him. If it was the case, when Phillips told him he was my best friend, Zola must have exulted."

"Who was the mole?"

"I don't know."

Shuri handed him the letter back and he stared at it. He hesitated before whispering, "There's something strange in that letter. That mention about Azzano. It's... I can't figure him saying that, even less writing it down."

"Anything else suspicious?"

"Well, warning Peggy and Howard. I... I don't imagine them just waiting there knowing that Bucky was tortured and doing nothing. Besides, I don't think Colonel Phillips called her 'Peggy'. He usually said 'Agent Carter', but so much time passed, things may have changed... Maybe I'm just imagining things. I probably was the only one to care for Bucky."

Shuri stood up and patted his hand. "Now, you're not alone," she said.

He grabbed her hand and squeezed her fingers. "Thank you," he told her, his heart in his eyes. She was touched by his gratefulness and sincerity, but what troubled her was that Steve's earnest blue eyes reminded her of another pair of blue eyes, full of sadness and guilt.


	13. Dancing

**Disclaimer** : never did and never will own it. Marvel does. I also do not own anything belonging to Glenn Miller, nor _Cheek to Cheek_.  
 **Spoilers** : canon until Captain America: Civil War (and the post-credit scenes of Black Panther).  
 **Timeline** : supposedly happens between Avengers Infinity War and Avengers 4.

* * *

She found him in his usual haunt, which was a small room by her standards, but sunny and with a balcony overseeing beautiful landscapes, as well as the famous black panther's statue. His desk was where he could see the door and the window in one glance. For all she knew, there was also a gun taped under the desk. He had a computer, which he was currently working on, as well as the 'common' set of beads. She looked around. She didn't come often here, because it always disturbed her to see him working at a desk. She associated him with outside. There was a comfortable armchair next to a bookcase, a small wardrobe and even – that made her narrow her eyes – a camp bed folded in a corner. Summer was surprisingly absent.

"You misplaced your little foundling?"

"I sent her to Okoye. No need for the both of us to be locked up doing that stupid work. And before you wonder, yes, that's her place, with her books." He had a vague gesture in direction of the armchair and the bookcase. "You came for a particular reason or just to remark how inadequate my quarters are?" He quirked an eyebrow at her before turning back to his work.

"How can you use that piece of antiquity?" she asked, pointing at his computer.

"Be nice. I come from the forties. I use a normal computer, it's already good. Stark's equipment makes my head spin. I don't know how I could manage Kimoyo beads and holograms everywhere."

"It was a pain to install and it is still one to maintain."

"So you told me."

"It took me an inanely long time to set up!" she insisted.

"I'm sure it did," he replied calmly. "Something like… what, half an hour? Ridiculously long."

She grinned. "I'm hurt! You underestimate me! Twenty minutes, actually."

"What I said. Ridiculously long. Instead of doing that, you could have revolutionised the quantic physics; it wouldn't have taken you much longer, I'm sure. I'm truly sorry to be such a drag-down. Why did you come for, Shuri, if not for rubbing my nose in how much I make you lose your time?"

She was laughing.

"I need a partner for a coming event and I want it to be you. So… I have to teach you to dance."

"There are no coming events," he said, his eyes returning to his screen.

"There will be soon," Shuri insisted. "It is called a Ukuqokelela. It is a big, formal event, with all the heads of the tribes being invited and mingling together."

"Why me? Plenty of people would be honoured to be their Princess's escort."

"And that's all they would see. A Princess. Besides, if you're going with me, I don't need a bodyguard. Maybe T'Challa too."

"Try to pry Okoye from his side. Having me along doesn't mean discarding security."

"How many Dora Milaje are you worth?"

"You know perfectly well it's not the right question to ask. It's how many enemies can I stop before one gets to you?"

"So, does that mean you'll escort me?"

"I'm your spymaster, Shuri, not a circus freak."

"I didn't say anything like that!"

"Because you were not planning on showing me off?"

"I may want to rub their nose in their stupidity," she admitted. "All those people who thought I didn't know what I was doing when I was caring for you, that T'Challa was misguided when he chose you as our spymaster."

He turned to her and raised his eyebrows. "Oh, because many people know about me being your spymaster?"

She grinned. "You're too smart for me!"

"You're laying the flattery a bit thick. Me, too smart for you? Yeah, right. Only when you are trying to lie."

"Then don't make me lie and come with me. You know it will be fun!"

"How exactly do you intend to show me off? And how did you end up picking me since you consider I don't know how to dance?"

"I don't care that much for showing you off, as you say. As for the me picking you…" She held up her right index. "I wanted someone smart, with whom I could have actual conversations. That makes... about five people." She opened her left hand, then held up her right medium. "Someone who wouldn't treat me like a Princess." She closed three of her left fingers. A third finger came up. "Someone who is not my brother, because otherwise, it will look like nobody wants to be my escort." She closed another of her left fingers. "Only one left. You."

He stood up and came at her. Gently, he seized her little right finger between his metal index and thumb and held it up. "Someone who knows how to dance." His right fist closed on her left hand. "Nobody's left. You need to find new criteria."

She looked at her hand encased in his. It felt right somehow. He mistook her glance and released her hand. She looked up at him.

"I can add a bunch of new criteria. You'll always be the one who's left. I can _teach_ you to dance."

"You're set on that, aren't you?"

"Yes. Besides, if you continue to hide, they'll wonder why and think you have some dirty secrets."

"I do."

"Not of that kind. Scandalous secrets."

"Like having an affair with the King's sister?" He sounded amused.

"Yes! No!" She glared at him before grabbing his arm – she knew he let her do, he could have stopped her – and tugging at it.

"Come!" she insisted.

"I have work to do, Shuri, and I don't have the excuse of being the King's sister for shirking it."

She shrugged carelessly. "You'll have all the time you want tonight when you won't be able to sleep."

He sighed and went back to his desk, finishing what he was doing. Before she could drag him outside, he stopped by the wardrobe and took a long-sleeved top inside. He closed it before she could see what else was inside.

"My stuff," he said. "You don't get to look at it."

"But Summer does?"

"No. Right door for me, left door for her."

He put on the shirt, hiding his metal arm. She only then realised that since he had been alone in his office, not expecting anyone to come, he had not put on the oversized sweater he usually had. She still wondered why. By now, everybody knew about him, didn't they? He didn't need to hide his metal arm.

"Out, now."

He closed the door behind him and she heard the soft click of a lock being engaged.

"A bit paranoid, aren't you?"

"No. Not 'a bit'."

She shook her head. "I've prepared a playlist. We'll start with the old stuff, which you are supposed to know, so I know how many hours of lessons I need to plan for."

"I thought I'd already paid for all the sins I committed in my youth," he muttered.

She chuckled, a bit evilly.

The playlist came from a normal-looking computer. Seeing Bucky look at it, Shuri explained, "I thought you might want to look up for some songs and you'd more at ease with old tech."

He rolled his eyes and as he held out his hand to her, she understood that he had taken the shirt for _her_ , so she would not touch his metal arm. She was moved by the gesture, though the metal arm didn't bother her. She started the first song and Bucky nodded approvingly.

"Glenn Miller. You can't get wrong with Glenn Miller. Now, the thing is, do _you_ know to dance the old stuff, like you said?"

"Don't insult me, please," she said with all the arrogance she could muster. "Lindy-hop."

"You did your research."

They started to swing on _In the Mood_ and she was amused to notice that he was humming along the music. The moves came back easily to him and Shuri had either practiced a lot or she had been a swing dancer before, for she had no difficulties in following him. He would not admit it to her, but he was enjoying himself. Maybe because _she_ was having fun too. She didn't show any distaste each time his metal arm came around her waist or that his metal hand closed around hers. He tried to remember whom he had last danced that song with. No face or name came to mind. Steve would probably say she had been a red-head. He liked to tease him about his soft spot for red-heads. He also pretended that Natasha had died her hair blonde because she knew he had recovered his memories and didn't want him to flirt with her. He smiled internally when looking at Shuri. She couldn't be farthest from a red-head. Besides, if he wanted to look at red hair, he just had to find Summer.

"Acrobatics?" he asked.

Before she could answer, he caught her and flipped her on his back and back on her feet.

"You–"

"Just couldn't help myself. You're so light, it's child play."

She huffed. "The fact that you have super strength may help."

As _Chattanooga Choo Choo_ started, he shook his head.

"Don't like that particular one."

She touched one of the beads around her wrist and the computer skipped to the next song.

"Old tech, but still at my beck and call," she commented.

"Show off," he retorted. "Swing again?"

"I wanted to be sure you mastered it."

"You could have chosen something else rather than _Mission to Moscow_."

"Ah, drat. Sorry, didn't think about that."

The next one was a rumba and he raised his eyebrows at her. They were maybe a bit closer than necessary. Bucky twirled Shuri dutifully, even dipped her, before they both did a side step with exaggerated hip moves. In the middle of the song, he muttered, "Well, if that's how you want it..."

He went to the computer and typed in something, before hitting the 'play' button. Then he came back to Shuri and took her back in his arms.

"Frank Sinatra?" she asked, her voice a bit high.

"I prefer his rendition to Fred Astaire's," he replied, holding her close.

After a moment, he started softly singing along and it was as if he was whispering the words in her ear.

 _Dance with me_

 _I want my arm about you_

 _The charm about you_

 _Will carry me through to heaven_

 _I'm in heaven_

 _And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak_

 _And I seem to find the happiness I seek_

 _When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek._

She fiddled with her beads while her arms were around his neck and her hands hidden from his sight. She felt him smile when the song repeated and he indeed leaned his cheek against hers. She closed her eyes for a moment. She had already danced with plenty people before, but never on that particular song. It must be the song that made her feel like that, right? Only the song... Though, the same way her hand encased in his earlier had felt right, dancing in his arms felt right also.

 _Heaven, I'm in heaven._

"Do I pass?" he asked softly.

She mentally shook herself. "Old dances are fine, grandpa. We still need to see for modern things."

He stood back, releasing her from his arms. She fiercely stomped on the feeling of loss it gave her. "Yeah, you so looked like you were dancing with your grandfather," he said with a smirk.

"Ballroom dances, you're fine with them?"

"We had them in my time also, young lady. I can waltz with you if that's what you're asking."

"Were you taught the Wakanda national dance?" He shook his head. "Watch."

She started, without music, some grotesque moves, who more looked like an ape trying to dance than anything else. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion before his face cleared.

"It's a wonder you want me to escort you to an official event, considering how low your opinion of me is."

She stopped and looked at him, doing her best to look innocent.

"No way this is Wakanda national dance, unless you want other people to believe you are savages. Okoye's training routines are more graceful than that."

She had a contrite smile. "Okay, good call."

"White man so naturally, I'm superior to you. Is it really what you think of me? May I remind you that Steve and I fought Hitler and his idea of a higher race?"

The previous mood was gone and she could hear he was hurt. "Old habits, sorry. It was supposed to be a joke." She was sheepish. He walked toward her, slowly, purposely, and she swallowed with difficulty. Had she angered him that much?

"I'm considered cold and scary, which I do quite well now, after fifty years of practice. I also have the brooding type down to an art." He was very close to her now, towering above her. His voice dropped to a low growl. "I can do the intense thing rather well too." She had to agree to that one as his blue eyes bore into hers and she felt that the world had disappeared except for those eyes. "But _nobody_ comes to me for silly things, so if you expected me to join you to aping the ape, you chose the wrong man."

"I'll stick with the intense one," she replied, her voice strained.


	14. Running

**Disclaimer** : never did and never will own it. Marvel does.  
 **Spoilers** : canon until Captain America: Civil War (and the post-credit scenes of Black Panther).  
 **Timeline** : supposedly happens between Avengers Infinity War and Avengers 4.

* * *

Shuri didn't exactly understand what she had started. Bucky decided that since she could requisition his time, he could do the same thing. So the next morning, he banged at her door – very early. Next to him, leaning against the wall, Summer was shaking her head while hiding her smile.

"What... Wolfie, what's happening?"

"I danced with you yesterday, so you run with me this morning."

Suddenly very awake, Shuri scoffed. "Me? I won't be able to follow you! My brother is several doors down if you want a partner."

"Summer will run too, so I'll adapt my speed to yours. Besides, Ayo is coming also. Get ready!"

"Why?" she whined.

"I paid part of my sins yesterday, time to own up yours."

She crossed her arms on her chest, looking mulish. "I'm not going to run. I hate running."

"I expected that," he said unruffled. He stepped forward, grabbed her and threw her on his shoulder.

"Ladies, are you ready?"

"Whenever you are, White Wolf," Ayo replied with utmost seriousness.

Shuri shrieked and hit Bucky's back with her fists. The Dora Milaje they met with on the way out looked at them with surprise, but didn't try to stop them. Bucky made a mental note to train them not to be so trusting. They _could_ be kidnapping the King's sister, after all.

"Let me down!"

"You have no shoes." He started running. Being bounced on his shoulder – knowingly or not, he had thrown her on his metal shoulder – cut her breath for the first moments and then, her stomach started to hurt. She gasped. His pace became smoother but he could probably tell at her erratic breath that it was not enough. Kindly, he brought her against his chest, holding her tight while continuing to run.

"Put me down! You won't be able to run properly."

"Already did that several times with Wanda. Summer, even asthmatic Steve could run faster than you!"

That first morning, even if she had held on to Bucky's neck and had not run, made her understand that he would not be deterred. So when he showed up the following morning, she was ready.

"We didn't dance yesterday," she argued.

He raised his eyebrows. "You didn't _run_ yesterday."

She gave up. She had hidden a pair of suitable shoes behind the door and requested a few minutes to dress accordingly. She had been humiliated enough the previous day by being carried around in her night clothes.

"So it's one for one? One dance session against one running session?" she asked, panting.

"Not at all. From now on, I'm training you. Running will be part of your training."

"Why?"

"You're the Black Panther's heir, for one. For the other... it never hurts to be ready."

Shuri grumbled some more, but she was proud of herself when less than two weeks after, he congratulated on having run the distance as fast as Summer. He didn't comment on how Summer totally defeated her at the fighting training just after. It was because she had given her all to the run and was still breathless, right?


End file.
